I just came across an article about defiant teens – defined as children that have no respect for authority and mainly disrespect their parents. Defiant teens, angry teens and rebellious teens can affect the entire family.
How true! Well, this is timely and real, as I and my elder sister is facing such person. I am sure my sister will find herself wondering what she did to deserve such treatment from her only girl!
I have deep thoughts about what happened at home 2-3 weeks ago, and after letting the anger subsides, I became rational and thought we ought to save this ‘little girl’ lost in the jungle, and trying to wriggle her way out!
Before that, I want my sis to realise that she’s not the only one out there having to face such a situation. Many families are experiencing this and many are still wondering “why”
Stop the wondering – that’s the 1st step! It is sad that the little young girl is very confrontational, but who is not when they are in their teens. Teenage years are a crucial part of growing up. At this stage, they love to explore things and when they are not permitted to do what they wanted, they will rebel
I remember, I was….and at that time, I also felt the same way, but perhaps lesser degree.
Here are some points I think we need to ponder on ourselves:
Too Strict Rules
When under the stern control of older folks, she will resent and rebel. It would be best if she be given chance to take part in making the rules and agree to the consequences that go with it. Just keep an eagle eyes over her!
Unreasonable punishment
She may not be given the chance to speak out and explain her side, and feels unfair. .
She wants attention
She feels nobody cares about her; none care to compliment her. In this desperate situation, she would do something to catch the attention, including poking herself with those needles.
Peer Pressure
Actually, this is the one I’m most afraid of. She may felt out of place when she wouldn't do what others were doing. She wants to belong to a group of friends, and is often guided by whom she gets along.
Can I make a suggestion to do something right now? I should stop “boycotting” her. Whether she is remorseful or not, I think she’s making an effort to made up. We must try to give her advice instead of being too hard on her. We must give considerations for some mistakes and give her chance to do the right thing with proper guidance.
No point putting the blames. No point nagging or scolding, because if these methods are ineffective, such flare would not have risen.
But, if we are kind enough to open up communication, kind and understanding in dealing with teens, I think we have taken a step to mould a young teenager into a good person.
Why not, try giving a room of her own and have some confidence on her to be a responsible young lady. Give a chance to decorate her room so that she’s proud to show to her friends?
Should we all take this FIRST effort…..PLEASSSSSSEEEE
I remember, I was….and at that time, I also felt the same way, but perhaps lesser degree.
Here are some points I think we need to ponder on ourselves:
Too Strict Rules
When under the stern control of older folks, she will resent and rebel. It would be best if she be given chance to take part in making the rules and agree to the consequences that go with it. Just keep an eagle eyes over her!
Unreasonable punishment
She may not be given the chance to speak out and explain her side, and feels unfair. .
She wants attention
She feels nobody cares about her; none care to compliment her. In this desperate situation, she would do something to catch the attention, including poking herself with those needles.
Peer Pressure
Actually, this is the one I’m most afraid of. She may felt out of place when she wouldn't do what others were doing. She wants to belong to a group of friends, and is often guided by whom she gets along.
Can I make a suggestion to do something right now? I should stop “boycotting” her. Whether she is remorseful or not, I think she’s making an effort to made up. We must try to give her advice instead of being too hard on her. We must give considerations for some mistakes and give her chance to do the right thing with proper guidance.
No point putting the blames. No point nagging or scolding, because if these methods are ineffective, such flare would not have risen.
But, if we are kind enough to open up communication, kind and understanding in dealing with teens, I think we have taken a step to mould a young teenager into a good person.
Why not, try giving a room of her own and have some confidence on her to be a responsible young lady. Give a chance to decorate her room so that she’s proud to show to her friends?
Should we all take this FIRST effort…..PLEASSSSSSEEEE
