Well, life for the past two months has been a stark contrast with when I was still working. Besides the sleepless nights (morning??) of World Cup fever, I truly have the liberty of putting 4 hours of sleep, and get back to my ‘work’, I mean my studies and assignments. I find that my 24 hours have been put to thorough use more meaningfully – for example spending more quality time with my hubby and lending him some of my strong mental strength, cooking the food he and I have been yearning, reading more books, etc.
Let's face it - we all need a little breathing space now and again in order to re-charge our batteries. I now take time to smell the roses! After two months of having enjoyed this liberation, I realised one of the conflicting issues that I have to deal with. I do have a few worries recently about money. It has been a bit of a bumpy ride financially as I now have to live prudently. It is not that I have not been prudent before, but I guess I am now more subconscious with money, like reducing expenditures on clothing and choosing where to eat during the weekends.
I feel some guilt too when I have to make adjustment including monies meant to my parents monthly. I never stringed when comes to bringing my parents and siblings out for ‘makan-makan’. I hardly paused for a moment about price whenever I purchase clothes for my little princesses and prince, and NEVER had I count the days before the next pay check. My family is very supportive especially my dad who said that need not give him any money now that I’m not working. They are of course not well-to-do, and thus I still insist on giving them a little from my savings. I could still remember vividly how it touched my heart when he utter softly that I should keep the money for myself, and that I could give him more when I return back to work.
I am exploring ways to solidify my knowledge and skills. As Bryan said in class, we must be solid and humble in order to earn respect. I tend to feel I still have a lot of unused capacity, and I do hope some people realize this and give me due considerations to utilize my abilities. There are many things that I wish to do now capitalizing on the time I have, but considering that I’m not earning right now, that can be an uphill task.
It seems that money is the issue, and I’m mulling over to return to work so that I can no longer be constrained with $$. On second thoughts, wouldn’t that defeat the purpose of what I’m doing and pursuing right now? I really hate to be caught in such situation! But I persevere as I believe the experiences I am undergoing are all for very special purpose, and I know I am progression in exactly the right direction.
When faced with some of these conflicting “stress of reality”, Steve Chandler’s book “100 ways to motivate yourself”, Robin Sharma’s “The Monk who sold his Ferrari” and Andrew Mathews “Happiness in Hard Times” have kept me company and motivated. This is just a small glimpse of my present but I hope to blog more frequently.
Until then, I hope (and hope you too) to share any surprising future that awaits me….
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